Blog - Text First – Yella Wellness

Should You Text Him First? The Real Rules of Modern Pursuit

By Zoë Kim | Relationship Advice

Let’s be honest: few things mess with your head like staring at your phone and wondering, “Should I text him?” The feminist in you is like, “Of course!” The inner romantic is whispering, “But if he wanted to, he would…” And meanwhile, your anxious brain is crafting 17 versions of “Hey 😅.”

So let’s break it down. Not just with cute dating rules, but with real insights, confidence-boosting tips, and yes—permission to do what actually feels right for you.

First: Let’s Ditch the Shame

Texting first doesn’t make you desperate. It makes you clear. The only reason you’re overthinking this is because some outdated script said, “Men chase. Women wait.” Spoiler: That script was written by people who feared powerful women.

Being intentional isn’t clingy. It’s confident.

But Read the Energy

If you’ve already texted twice with no reply, take a breath. You deserve reciprocity—not emotional breadcrumbing. Instead of spiraling into analysis (“Did I scare him off?” “Should I wait another day?”), try asking a better question:

“Am I being met with the same energy I’m offering?”

If yes—go for it. If not, your silence might say more than a follow-up ever could.

Make the First Move Without Making Yourself Smaller

If you do text him first, let it be from wholeness—not from the hope that it’ll finally make you feel worthy. Keep it light, warm, and rooted in your real self.

Good: “Hey, had fun chatting the other night. Want to grab a drink this week?”
Also good: “Been thinking about that stupid thing you said that made me laugh. Still smiling.”
Less good: “Hey… not sure if I scared you off or if you’re just busy 😅” (you’re doing his emotional labor here)

See the difference? Make your move—but let him meet you on your level.

Bottom Line?

Texting him first isn’t about rules—it’s about self-respect. If your heart says yes, and the vibe is mutual, don’t hold back. But if you’re texting just to chase validation or calm your nerves, try pausing and giving yourself that love first.

Your value doesn’t hinge on his reply. It never did.

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About Yella Wellness

At Yella Wellness, we believe your body deserves to be heard, supported, and celebrated—every single day. Our science-backed supplements are designed specifically for women’s unique rhythms, helping you feel balanced, vibrant, and deeply connected to yourself. Because feeling good shouldn’t be complicated—it should feel like coming home.