Own It: How to Build Real Sexual Confidence

By Maya Inez Cruz | Mind & Mood

Sexual confidence isn’t about looking a certain way or knowing a million tricks. It’s about feeling at home in your body, owning your desires, and showing up with presence. If you’ve ever felt self-conscious, frozen, or unsure in bed—you’re not broken. You’re just disconnected from your power. Let’s fix that.

1. Start With the Mirror

One of the simplest (and hardest) things you can do: look at your naked body in the mirror. Not to critique. To witness. Your stretch marks, scars, curves, softness—every inch of you tells a story. Say out loud: “This is my body. I’m grateful for it.” Repeat until it feels real.

2. Learn What *You* Like

Sexual confidence is personal. Masturbation isn’t just for pleasure—it’s for discovery. Try different strokes, rhythms, positions, and fantasies. Light a candle. Play music. Make it a date with yourself. You’re not performing. You’re exploring.

3. Talk Dirty—To Yourself

What do you want to hear in bed? Say it to yourself in the shower, in your journal, or while driving alone. Use your real voice. Get used to hearing it. Owning your pleasure starts with owning your language.

4. Ditch the Pressure to Perform

This isn’t porn. This isn’t high school. This isn’t a test. You don’t need to sound, move, or orgasm like someone else. You’re not there to impress—you’re there to feel. Take the focus off how you look and lean into how you feel.

5. Heal the Shame

If you were raised in purity culture, bullied about your body, or silenced when you expressed your desires—it’s normal to carry shame. But it doesn’t have to stay. Therapy, journaling, trauma-informed coaching—all valid tools. Healing your story unlocks your freedom.

You’re not too much. You’re not too quiet. You’re not wrong for wanting what you want.

6. Communicate Like a Queen

Want to feel confident in bed? Speak up. “Slower.” “Yes, right there.” “Let’s try something new.” Confidence isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about sharing what’s real. A partner who values you will thank you for it.

7. Confidence Looks Different on Everyone

Some women radiate quiet sensuality. Others are bold, loud, and playful. You don’t have to match anyone else’s vibe. You just have to find yours. And when you do—own it. Every second of it.
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